Goggo and Ogmo

These two minor gods appear as a hybrid of human and cow: they have hooves insted of hands and feet, cow’s heads (but human hair), and otherwise human bodies. They are said to be brother and sister (Goggo is the female and Ogmo the male).

They are the gods of clothing and fashion. Child-size statues of the two (but in adult proportions) stand outside every temple to them. As with other gods of particular trades, temples are only found in large towns and cities, although tailors in other areas may have shrines in their homes or workshops.

They are inevitably carved naked, and dressed in actual clothes. For a tailor to be chosen to clothe the statues indicates that they are the greatest at their trade in the area. Thus the clothes are provided free (and indeed it is said that tailors bribe the temple to receive this honour, or at least make generous offerings).

The skin, eyes and hair of the gods are painted to represent the current ideal of beauty. Likewise the god’s bodies are carved to conform to ideal types. Carving or painting the statues is a similar sign of status, though to a lesser extent, since representing the human form in art is the province of Averna (also the goddess of dancing and athletics). When this ideal is judged to have changed, the statues are replaced. Old statues have no ‘sacredness’, and are simply thrown away.

>Volitional Fluid, or Gods’ Tears

>It is rumoured, but not substantiated, that this substance may be found in Teleleli.

It is said to be a milky, thick fluid, like a liqueur, and beautiful to behold. It is not, however, desired for its appearance, nor even for its delicious taste, but for its ability, when treated correctly, to give the power to move with the speed of thought.

Some say that it is literally the tears of a god. Others contend that very enlightened mystics may enter a state of deep meditation, wherein they secrete the substance from their eyes or skin.

It is notable that the Tibetans ascribe various miraculous properties to the tears of Buddha and other holy men.

>The Unsullied Branch

>This sect believe themselves to be the only true worshippers of Father-On-The-Mountain (they reject all other titles of the god). They interpret the god’s teachings in a more severe way than all others, to such an extent that they themselves do not claim to be able to follow them. They say that, if a worshipper of the god was able to keep the entirety of his law for a single day, then the god would return to the world and reign in glory forever.

>Meh

>The goddess of procrastination is unique among the gods, in that she is not immortal. In fact she intends to die pretty soon.

Her chief festival, The Welcoming of Summer, is held every autumn.

>The Garbage-Eaters

>It is hotly debated whether these secretive people are a religion, sufferers of a sickness or hysteria, or even the victims of a malevolent alien parasite which takes over their will.

In any case, it sometimes happens that a person will abruptly leave their life behind, move to a new district of the city, and live a life of voluntary destitution, sleeping on the streets and living off garbage. They maintain a total silence (at least when outsiders are around), disdaining even to beg. Such people are usually young, and tend to be better-educated and more intelligent than the average.

They appear to be able to distinguish themselves from both the involuntarily destitute, and those who mimic their lifestyle in an attempt to study them, rendering information about them difficult to come by. However some scholars claim that their search for food scraps is a sham, and that in reality they eat metal. Some speculate that they may have the maniacal belief that they can become robots by this method.

>The Last of the Year

>There is no Grim Reaper in the lore of Teleleli. Neither the God of Unnatural Death, nor his consort Beautiful Lady Sebastienne, nor the goddess of winter and natural death The Crone collect souls (except that, like all gods, they may appear personally to those who die martyr’s deaths).

Instead, the souls of the dead are said to be harvested by the last person to die in the previous year. This unfortunate is said to drive an invisible horse and cart. They are said to experience the single year until they are relieved as if it was a span of centuries.

>Horny Bitches and Throbbing Cocks

>These creatures are servants of an evil god, the Ragged King. Where the god who controls Heckhounds is afraid of offending parents, the Ragged King is afraid of doing anything that will not offend parents.

I have not been able to determine exactly what these creatures do to travellers on dark nights. However it clearly has a great effect on them. I have known many a priest who, having met the creatures, insisted on patrolling the same roads again and again, determined to save others (they did, however, assure me that they had protection).

>Heckhound

>Heckhounds are the servants of an evil god who is afraid of offending parents. Heckhounds roam lonely roads at night, seeking to terrify unwary travelers. Since they are not allowed to use violence, they are limited to growling and making their eyes glow.

>Free Passages

>The Brotherhood of the Coasts, the guild of longshoremen and dockside labourers, gives out tokens entitling the bearer to a free journey to those who render great aid to them. They are in the form of the bones of whales or other large sea creatures, inscribed with the bearer’s name and the nature of their deed. These bones are also given to the high priests of Numen Mari and other gods of the sea.

The bones may not be sold or given away, even in a will. If the bearer dies it is expected that the bones will be destroyed. If they are used, they may be affixed to the prow of the ship in question.

They are honoured by all ships, even pirates, since anyone who refused would find all ports closed to them.

>Swearing and Insults in Teleleli

>Since religious oaths run the risk of attracting the wrathful attention of gods or demons, foul language in Teleleli is mostly sexual or scatalogical rather than blasphemous. Statements such as “by Ginnafort” or “by Father” (the latter indicating Father-on-the-Mountain) are not considered impolite.

An exception is the somewhat formal “may the Crone turn the water of your bowels to ice.” This is known not to draw the attention of the Crone, goddess of winter and natural death, since it is her nature to act only in her own good time.

Those who swear by the Lady of Charity should be careful to say “by Charity” rather than “by the Lady”, for fear of Beautiful Lady Sebastienne, the consort of the God of Unnatural Death.

A common insult is “go hock your box”, or “go hock your box at the Cross”, referring to a dockside district of the city. It is particularly used for those who have much to say, but are considered wearisome. It indicates that the target has no other way of compelling attention.