More on the Dung-Haters

As with most peoples outside Teleleli, an extended family of Dung-Haters will generally live in one building. The ‘nuclear family’ of a single couple and their children is an unknown concept to them. They have maintained this practice even in Teleleli, where plentiful empty buildings would make smaller households viable. Where they are forced to occupy smaller buildings, they will generally knock down walls if they are able, or if not live in several adjacent buildings.

When a couple marries, the man must leave his family and live with that of his wife. However, if the husband speaks to his wife’s mother, the couple must divorce and the man return to his people in shame. If her shadow crosses his body he will sicken and die.

My girlfriend was a killer DM at age 7.


Tomb of Horrors ain’t shit.

When my GF was little, she wrote this Choose Your Own Adventure. Obviously she was influenced by the Call of Cthulhu RPG.

The text is in pencil, so it didn’t scan.

1 One day you go exploring and find a haunted house. Do you want to go in and explore or do you want to go home?

If you want to go in turn to page 4.

If you want to go home turn to page 8.

2 Go home! Why, your [sic] the Cowardly Lion! Gee!

The End.

3 You go to the right junction there is a path that goes left and a path that goes right. Which way do you want to go?

To go left turn to page 13.

To go right turn to page 11.

4 You decide to explore the house. When you gave gone about half way across the lounge a Boogie-man jumps out at you. What’ll you do? Go home or be brave and go on?

If you want to go home turn to page 2.

If you want to go on turn to page 12.

5 At the end of the passage you see a rainbow.

If you want to ride home on Indigo, p17. Red, p16. Yellow, p14. Violet, p10. Blue, p4. Or if you’d rather ride home on green, p7. The orange is out of order.

6 You go right. You come to a room. Do you want to go into the room or go back?

To go back page 18.

To go into the room page 19.

7 You ride home on green.

The End.

8 Your [sic] a coward and decide to go home.

The End.

9 Bad choice. You are pulled into the rainbow and never seen again.

10 Bad choise. You fall off and die.

The End.

11 You go right. You find some treasure. You pick it up and take it home.

The End.

You Win You Win You Win.

12 Brave choice. You rush past the Boogie-Man and go on. Soon you come to two junctions. Gee! You think.

If you want to go to the left junction, page 20.

If you want to go to the right junction, page 3.

13 You go left. You get eatan [sic].

The End.

14 You get winched off by an airoplane [sic] and are taken home.

The End.

15 Bad choice. You fall down a hole and never come out again.

The End.

16 The rainbow bulges and you are thrown into Space.

The End.

17 You suddenly turn white and disserpear [sic] in a cloud of smoke.

The End.

18 You go back coward.

The End.

19 You go into the room. It is very scary. You see a passage-way. You go down the passage.

Turn to page 5.

20 You go to the left junction. One path goes straight forward while the other goes right. Which way?

To go right, page 6.

To go straight ahead, page 15.

Sailors and the tides

Sailors are stronger when the tide is coming in, and strongest at high tide, but become weak when the tide turns. They will only die of illness or old age when the tide is ebbing. Thus, if a sailor must undergo surgery, it is important that it be performed as close as possible before high tide, but not continue after it.

Vampires and eating

Vampires gain their nourishment from blood, and have no need to eat. However they can do so (generally to pass as human). The sensation of eating fresh grains and vegetables is repellent to them. However eating fresh meat is tolerable. If the meat is not regurgitated, but is left in the body to rot, they will become intoxicated by the fumes.